Well... It's finally happened...
Something my mom, and my best friends, have been saying right from the beginning of the school year.
It's finally happened... and looking back... I'm surprised it took this long.
Now... I bet you're wondering... what the heck?
Well, maybe I should give you a little background.
This year... is stressful. Really, really, really stressful.
1)I have a full course load (Chemistry 11, Family Management 12, Art 12, Writing 12 and Foods 12) which gives me ALOT of homework... and Exams are coming up.. thats not counting next semesters classes as well
2)Batons twice a week... with some weekends and alot of fundraising... I have 6 major routines, 3 non-major ones. We're hoping to go to Canadians
3) Work.... i work every other weekend, 2-8pm. That wears you out, and is a bit stressful.
4) Grad... I Graduate this year... and Jesus we are doing alot of fundraising... it seemed like we were always doing something...
5)... health problems... I'll leave it at that.
6)...something that happened to me in July.. and I'm still feeling the effects.
7) applying for university
Now... adding this up... You'd say I have a pretty busy schedule eh? .... Stressful too... really Stressful....
Well... It's finally caught up with me.
Today...
7months worth a stress... What does it usually do to you?
Well..... I cracked..... I completely broke down.
...I don't know how it happened... I was sitting watching some TV, when my mom says something about university to my sister, and... all of a sudden... I'm crying... a couple minutes later... completely bawling... I didn't know what i was crying about... my mom asked what's wrong... and I completely let loose at her... and start a yelling match.... I went into my room, and just cry... and... that's when it I realised...
I can't do this anymore...
Have you ever felt that kind of feeling of hopelessness? The feeling of, what the hell am I doing? Can I do this?
Well... thats what happened to me...
After I calmed down...
I went out to the living room and apologized to my mom....
Well... SO here I am now... sitting here... looking back at how stressful and busy the last couple months were... and looking ahead at how they next couple of months will be... should be interesting to see how i can handle everything.
About Me
- ~*~Christine~*~
- Scorpio, the Scorpion.. for those of you who know what that means... I am a baton twirler, and have been for the last 11 years. I've also competed, and won at Canadians :) I'm an easy going, trusting person... and sometimes thats has come back to haunt me...
3 comments:
First off, *tons of hugs for you*. I totally understand that grade 12 is tough with so much homework and all the fundraising, but I can't imagine having batons or any other out of school sport plus work to deal with as well. I need to get a job soon too for my Portfolio, but I think I'll do that during spring break - and I really have no idea how I'm going to get to and from it oncde I do find it. I've found that the best place to turn to when you're at a complete end and feel beyond help, is your family... and teddybear. ;)
It will get better sweetie, this stuff is really hard on us and you probably have twice as much to worry about than the rest of us! but your doing good, and soon we will grad and be done with it all!
Love ya bebe
Everyone feels this way sometimes, trust me! No matter how well we handle things, and you do handle everything well, sometimes we just need to let our unhappy emotions and fears out so we can let them go and replace them with our hopes and dreams . Everything will work out fine, and whatever happens, I will always be your bestest friend and be by your side no matter what.
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